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Brawl of the Bossbots
'"Brawl of the Bossbots" '''is the thirteenth episode of ''Justice and the 31st episode overall. It is the fourth installment of the Plight of the Cogs series and the third of the second season. It was published on September 27, 2018. In the episode, as the trial continues, Bossbot Headquarters falls siege for the first time. Back in Toontown, a cure for the Togs may be in the works. The Episode Walrus Way =Present Day= Slate Oldman was not wearing a jacket, as was his usual. Even in the stark midwinter of the Brrrgh, he was never cold. Other Toons were wrapped in heavy coats, huddling over fires on street corners in between Cog battles. “Slate!” a Toon called. Slate veered his path to meet them. They were at one of the fires. “Care to join us for a battle?” “Sure,” Slate said with a shrug. He had no other plans tonight. The Toons rubbed their paws together for warmth. “Freezing tonight,” a female rabbit said. She reached into her gag pouch. “I think my pies are frozen.” Slate watched as she held the pie over the fire, scraping the ice off the top. But her frozen fingers fumbled with the dish and it fell into the fire. “Well,” she said, “that’s a jellybean down the drain.” Slate stared into the flames. The pie was dissolving to liquid. And a sort of fuzzy warmness was lifting out of it. Like an aroma coupled with…laff? Slate’s mind began to spin. Something about it. It was important. He could sense it. The gag itself…had laff? Was that possible? What if… Slate backed away from the fire and excused himself. He had to get back home. And call Drema Yawn. And Bradley and Alice. Pete would want to know too. He was on to something. Bossbot Headquarters Barbara coordinated the attack. She assembled 24 Toons, eight Toons for each golf course. They would go in groups of four, but they would take down any Cog that was gathered on the green today. Holiday time was over. The Toons were coming to take back the crag. The Bossbot Clubhouse Reports of complaints from Bossbots trying to enjoy a day of golfing—despite the order to stay off the courses—filtered into the Chairman’s office. He paid them no heed. He knew the Toons were going to attack, and they were welcome to infiltrate the empty golf courses. The Chairman knew that the true treasure trove was the Clubhouse and Executive Suites. Which the Toons were never going to penetrate. Lately, the Chairman was busy trying to organize the diplomatic missions north to the Kingdoms. There was only one map of the lands to the north. Getting out of the Bay was the first challenge. Then the ships (so far unbuilt) would have to brave extreme weather conditions along the eastern shores of the continent. The Diary of War—a trite read—detailed horrible hurricanes and maelstroms plaguing the ocean. Which was why the Toon species arrived on the southern peninsula via land. Another stack of reports was dropped on his desk. The Chairman slid them into the trash. “Just to be safe,” he said to Silly Sal, one of his Togs, “Order the Third Flank to guard my chambers.” Silly Sal stared blankly at the Chairman. Not his usual self. “Sal,” the Chairman growled. “That was a command.” The Tog combusted. The Chairman leapt backward in his seat, sliding into the window. He watched, stunned, as Silly Sal literally burned to ash. In minutes, there was nothing left of him save the green light that was once bolted to his chest. In his last moments, it turned yellow then red. The Chairman cast a cautious glance at the other three Togs. Now that he was looking at them critically, they didn’t look too good. They actually looked…horrid. Their eyes were bloodshot. Lucy Tires was leaning to one side. Doctor’s eyes were flickering like crazy. And Smokey Joe…was smoking. Steam was lifting gently out of his metallic chest. The Chairman leaned forward and dialed an extension. “Infirmary,” he said. “I need a Spin Doctor.” Lawbot Headquarters Eileen had already bitten off all her claws the night before. She was so stressed. The trial was only slated to last a couple of days, with the bulk of arguments occurring today. But with the assault on Bossbot Headquarters underway and the near certainty that a hung verdict would be delivered, Eileen couldn’t help but fret. Constance was of the belief that they should have the Toons on the jury vote for acquittal because at least with a definitive verdict they could try to get justice another way. Atticus had stayed up all night preparing his statements. Had the Cogs put in the same amount of effort? Eileen sat back in her uncomfortable metal chair and thought about the state of the Toon Resistance. She hadn’t really noticed, but all four Cog sects were under fire. With the Sellbot tunnel reopened, the VP had already been defeated upward of a dozen times. The Factory had been reopened, but so many Toons were putting halt to its processes. The Cashbots had just lost their CFO and Mata continued to be integral to Toon missions into the Mints. The Lawbots were dealing with the trial of Clarabelle Cow. The Bossbots had finally been found. And their home was falling siege. That made Eileen feel better. She felt as if the tide was turning. It had looked really bleak when that Edict had come out, exacerbated by Clarabelle’s betrayal. But now they were steps closer to defeating the Cogs for good. How they would ultimately do that was still murky as fog. “Please rise for the Chief Justice of Cog Nation.” Eileen reluctantly got to her feet. Aleck and Constance followed suit, ever so sluggish. The Chief Justice rolled onto his stand. He wore a ridiculous blindfold over his eyes. “Justice is blind,” Atticus had whispered when Eileen first noticed the blindfold. She thought it was extra. The door near the witness stand opened and the jury filed in. Six Cogs, six Toons. The only Toon that Eileen really recognized and knew on the jury was Penny Clark, one of the Gag Shop clerks. “Today,” the Bailiff announced, “both the Prosecution and Defense will give opening statements and call witnesses to the stand. We shall remain here until all witnesses have been called.” Eileen was one of the witnesses, as was Constance and Susan Fletcher and Aleck. Piggy Pie had been summoned too, since she had gone into the building to arrest Clarabelle. Several of Clarabelle’s sponsors were also here today. Vidalia and Vavarro VaVoom were just behind Eileen. The message Vidalia wanted to send to Clarabelle was clear: she was with the Toons. And Clarabelle should be too. They brought the cow in herself next. “Whoa,” Aleck said aloud. “What…” Vidalia whispered. The Clarabelle of yesterday, the despondent and guilty-ridden cow was replaced today with a smiling, confident, rejuvenated bovine. She strode into the chamber with a quick pace, humming to herself. She gave a kind wave to the jury. When she saw Vidalia in the crowd, she flashed her a kiss. As if she was passing her on the street. As if nothing had happened. “Can I kill her?” Constance growled. “No no…” Aleck said soothingly. Eileen seethed. She wanted to scream, but Atticus had been adamant about remaining professional. She also wanted to throttle Clarabelle. The Togs could be forgiven. She could not. “The Prosecution will begin opening statements.” Atticus stood and cleared his throat. He gave a slight bow the Chief Justice (could he even see it?) and then addressed the jury. “Good morning,” he said. “My name is Atticus Lynch and I am the head of the prosecution team against Clarabelle Cow. The defendant stands accused of treason against Toontown. Her crime occurred before the official switch from Toontown to Cog Nation.” Some of the Toons on the jury looked confused at the statement. Atticus plowed on, “Clarabelle deliberately betrayed her town of Toontown by violating our privacy laws. She placed bugging devices in the vases of her own product and purposefully lowered the prices of these vases to what one would consider an unreasonable low. As a result, these vases soon filled the homes and shops of nearly every Toon and perhaps some Cogs as well. Clarabelle and several Cogs would then listen in on the private conversations of Toons and Cogs alike. This incorrigible and deliberate act is unforgivable and Clarabelle Cow is guilty of these actions despite her plea. It is of the opinion of the prosecution that Clarabelle willingly chose to perform these actions because she had been falsely promised with a biological impossibility: cow children. As Clarabelle is the last of her species within our borders, it is impossible for Clarabelle to ever bear children. She is of course able and encouraged to adopt per the usual method. I call on the jury to deliver justice in this trial by convicting Clarabelle Cow of treason and violation of privacy.” Atticus sat back down. Eileen wanted to applaud his eloquence. He had laid out in simple terms what Clarabelle was guilty of. The main argument was that Clarabelle was not being tried for treason against Cogs but treasons against her former home—if she was a backstabber to Toontown, who was to say she wouldn’t backstab the Cogs? The defense went next. They very simply—and very briefly—stated that Clarabelle could not be guilty of any crime against Toontown because there was no Toontown. The six Cog jurors nodded fervently. With that out of the way, the witnesses were called one by one. Toontown Central Alice Carver adjusted the injections in Herb Clark’s arm so that he was getting the right amount of nutrients for the day. Professor Drema Yawn’s hypnosis held, and all the Togs had been soundly asleep since they were put under. To make sure no one, well, died, they were force fed nutrients through needle injections. It was a bit dramatic for Alice, but nothing about the situation was normal. Despite all their efforts, they were no closer to curing the Togs. “Bradley,” Alice said to her partner, who was across the hall in Soggy Bottom’s cell. He didn’t answer. “Bradley!” He raised his head with a start. “Hmm?” Alice crossed her arms. “Are you still upset that you’re not with Barbara at Bossbot Headquarters?” Bradley kicked his paw against the cell wall. “No.” Alice rolled her eyes. She had been more then generous by letting him go to Bossbot Headquarters twice already. She wasn’t going to let him go there a third time and get captured. They had come too far into their freedom for it all to be taken away. It had only been a little over a month since they had reemerged to the public light and shed their aliases. And even though Alice was hesitant at first to do anything with it, she was embracing it now. But the Cogs were still a threat to her and Bradley. They could still come back for them. Cogs died everyday, but there had to be the ones from the days of Molecule. The ones that remember. Alice suffered from flashbacks to Chipper Acres. To Molecule and his experiments. To the Cogs and their escape attempts. To the bunker and the journals that kept her sane. To all of Bradley’s love that kept her alive. “Bradley,” Alice said tenderly, “please don’t be mad at me.” Bradley raised his red head and looked into her eyes. “Of course I’m not. I…I get it.” “I can’t lose you,” Alice gasped. “You know that. You’re all I have.” Bradley exited the cell and met Alice halfway. He wrapped his light arms around her and kissed her. She rested her head against his chest and took a deep breath. “HEY!” Alice yelped and jumped back. She and Bradley looked in surprise toward the stairwell up to Toon HQ, where Slate Oldman was emerging. Alice had never seen him move so quickly. He was carrying a canister of liquid. “I got it! I think! Maybe? I don’t know but we have to try!” “You…wait what?” Bradley said. Slate held up his free paw, closed his eyes, and exhaled. “Okay,” he said. “I think I may have found a cure for the Togs.” Lawbot Headquarters “Mrs. Irenic,” the Big Wig said in his dry but somehow cocky voice. “Is it not true that we are all citizens of Cog Nation?” It took all of Eileen’s self-control to say “We are.” “Then,” the Big Wig postulated, “how is it that Clarabelle could be guilty of helping her nation?” Eileen did not answer. “It would appear,” the Big Wig bellowed to the courtroom, “that Clarabelle wanted nothing but to install Cog Nation as the rightful dominion of the region. All of her actions were not only justified, but they were just.” Eileen snapped. “Cog Nation is a farce,” she spat. The courtroom gasped (or the Cogs did, a sort of metallic wheeze). The Chief Justice glowered down at her. “This is Toontown. And Clarabelle betrayed us.” Eileen stood and locked eyes with Clarabelle. “Clarabelle,” she said, trying not to sound malicious, “please for the love of your town and your parents ''who I adored, withdraw this case. Plead guilty and end this nonsense.” “Mrs. Irenic!” the Chief Justice shouted. “I will find you in contempt of court. Bailiff, please escort Mrs. Irenic from the building. She is not welcome back in this courtroom.” Eileen felt her heart sink. “No, no!” she pled. “Please let me stay! I won’t say another word. I promise.” The Chief Justice’s mouth turned upward in a smile, pleased with the affect he had on her. “Very well. Bailiff, escort the witness back to the prosecution desk.” Eileen walked past a smug Clarabelle and sat back down with Constance, Aleck, and Atticus. While Constance and Aleck looked impressed with Eileen’s audacity, Atticus did not. He had a sour look on his face. “Mr. Lynch, you may call your next witness.” “Thank you, your Honor. I call Vidalia VaVoom.” Vidalia was dressed in one of her best outfits, and even had a gavel brooch for the occasion. She took her seat on the stand. She swore over the Cog constitution to tell the truth, and sat. Atticus approached the bench. “Ms. VaVoom, please state your relationship to the accused.” “Certainly,” Vidalia crooned. “I am Clarabelle’s best friend. And she is mine. We have a very old friendship, dating back to our childhood.” Atticus systematically had Vidalia construct for the jury a full story of Clarabelle’s life through Vidalia’s eyes. The dream of having children, the day she found out she could never, the Cattlelog and the ease of access she would have to Toons and the trust she had built. Vidalia detailed the times that Clarabelle and she had helped the Toon Resistance, and how many of those times were done while the vases had been released and the bugs were operational. Vidalia was one of the key witnesses, and she was making Clarabelle look guiltier and guiltier by the minute. Eileen was impressed with the calmness with which Vidalia answered Atticus’s questions. Atticus finished his questioning and passed the torch to the defense. As the Big Wig approached, Vidalia looked so calm and cool. “Your Honor,” the Big Wig began, “I would like to move to have this evidence tossed out. It is all subjective in nature.” Eileen gasped. Constance and Aleck leaned forward in terror. No… “Sustained,” the Chief Justice said. “Ms. VaVoom, you may step down.” “''No!” ''Vidalia cried. “Are you serious? Atticus—they can’t.” Atticus shook his head in defeat. Vidalia looked at the Bailiff and his outstretched arm, beckoning her out of the box. She looked at the jury, the stoic and the sympathetic. She shot a look of incredulity to Eileen, Aleck, and Constance. But then she turned to Clarabelle. And she wept. She put her hooves over her face and sobbed. “Clarabelle,” she whimpered, “why…why would you do this? Why are you letting them…” She stifled another sob. “You…bugged my ''house. My family. I know how much you want kids…but…when did this happen to you? When did you turn into this…this…selfish…inconsiderate…traitorous….BITCH?” The Chief Justice slammed his gavel against the dais. “Remove Ms. VaVoom from the courtroom.” Vidalia was hooked under her arms and forcibly dragged out of the box. She kicked at Clarabelle’s table as she passed. Eileen tried to steal a glance at Clarabelle’s face, but a Big Wig’s fat body obscured her. “I HATE YOU, CLARABELLE!” Vidalia shrieked as the large courtroom doors closed. Toontown Central Slate carefully placed the canister in Bradley’s hands. Alice peered into the small glass window at the top. The large container was filled with a bright orange liquid, which bubbled and gurgled like a swamp. Either the light was playing tricks on her, or the substance was also sparkling. “What is it?” Bradley asked. “ A potion?” Slate cocked his head from side to side. “Not quite. But it’s for them to drink.” Slate then noticed the needle injections. He shrugged. “Those could work too.” “Yeah…” Alice said skeptically, “but what exactly is this? What did you put in here? And why are you so confident?” Slate cracked his knuckles. “It’s gags. I melted down every gag in our arsenal. Liquidated all of them. And mixed them together. I boiled the liquid…” “Wait…” Bradley said, “you melted a piano?” “And a railroad track?” “A ladder?” “Shhhhh!” Slate hushed. “I used parts of every gag. Calm down. I realized that they contain laff. There’s something in them…I don’t quite understand it…but there’s a reason we laugh and feel happy when we use gags on ourselves. And why toonup is so effective. It connects with our laff…I don’t know. I just had a hunch about it. If we push all this laff into their hearts, it should override the serum that Molecule used.” Alice and Bradley were silent. Alice was thinking about the potential repercussions. What if the substance clogged the heart and killed the Toon? “We have to test it,” Bradley said. “It’s all we have right now.” Alice couldn’t help but agree. “Okay,” she said, “Herb Clark is first. His family was very clear that if there was anything that could be done, they wanted him cured first.” Alice didn’t mention that if the process failed, Herb Clark would be the first to die and the Clark family would crack down on them with all the wrath of hell. “Get me a needle,” Slate said. He opened the canister. Lawbot Headquarters The final witness left the box. Atticus was rubbing his head in frustration. Not one witness had gone the way he had hoped. Eileen was rubbing his back reassuringly. “That concludes the testimony for today’s trial,” the Chief Justice said. “Tomorrow the Prosecution and Defense will deliver their closing statements. The jury will then deliberate and provide a verdict of either guilty or not guilty.” He had emphasized the word guilty. Eileen tried not to roll her eyes. “The court is dismissed.” Toontown Central “Just go careful,” Alice murmured. “Nice and easy…” Slate jammed the needle with violent force into Herb Clark’s heart. “WHY?” Alice yelled. Slate pressed on the end of the needle, pumping the gag juice into Herb’s heart. The three watched with bated breath, but nothing happened. Alice and Bradley sighed. “So much for that.” Slate calmly took hold of Herb’s shirt and pulled down the collar, revealing the skin around his heart. The greenness was shrinking. Alice gaped. “Oh my…” “Whoa!” Bradley said with a grin. “Is it working?” Slate didn’t answer. He just kept his paw on Herb’s chest, monitoring his heartbeat. “It may have worked,” Slate said. “But we need to wake him up.” “How?” Alice asked. “I’m here, darlings,” a voice said behind them. Alice spun around, inhaling her scream. It was Professor Drema Yawn, the freaky cat. She glided into the cell like a ghost and snapped her fingers over Herb’s eyes. They instantly opened. Alice seized Bradley’s paw. This was the moment of truth. Herb maintained a steady gaze on the ceiling. His breathing was stertorous. He would take a raspy breath, then patter out an exhale. His eyes began to lower, landing on Slate. “Slate…?” Slate cut him off by squirting him in the face with seltzer. “Why not,” Alice grumbled. Bradley tried to keep in his laughter. Herb, however, did not. He openly laughed. His giggle turned into a cackle. He began to roll onto his side, laughing. Slate squirted him again, causing the laughter to double. Alice and Bradley watched in elation as Herb Clark laughed for the first time in a year. His laughter turned to tears when he realized he was back in his own mind, back in his own body, and back to normal. Alice glanced at the canister, still open on the floor. Slate had used hardly any of the stuff. There was enough in there for all the Togs. At long last, they were about to be cured. She ran for a phone. Polar Place Eileen, Constance, and Aleck leaned against a Toon building near the entrance to Lawbot Headquarters. Above them, the Lawbot Towers scraped the sky. “We need a backup plan,” Eileen said. “When the jury returns a hung verdict tomorrow, we need to do something. We can’t just let the Cogs declare a mistrial and have Clarabelle sink into a bunch of law ambiguity. Who knows what they would do? They’ll probably ensure an all-Cog jury next time.” “I agree,” Constance said. “Atticus is trying his best, but there’s no point arguing with Cogs. We’ll have to settle this with force.” “My favorite,” Aleck joked. “We return tomorrow with gags,” Eileen said. “And when the verdict is read, we’ll launch an attack. We’ll kill the defense team first, and Constance, you can grab Clarabelle.” “Hey!” a voice said. Eileen turned to see Vidalia hurrying up to them. “If you have a plan for tomorrow, I’m in.” Aleck recapped for Vidalia what they had said so far. “I’ll go for the jury,” Vidalia said. “Susan will join you,” Aleck said. “I’ll work with Constance on apprehending Clarabelle.” Eileen counted the number of Toons that she knew would be available tomorrow. Piggy Pie and Tori were not on Bossbot duty yet and they could come and help. Horace was with Barbara… “I can’t wait to see the look on the bitch’s face,” Vidalia said, “when her victory is taken away from her.” Bossbot Headquarters “How was the trial today?” the Chairman asked the Chief Justice. “As expected,” was the reply. “The case against her is weak. She will be acquitted tomorrow.” The Chairman shook his head. “There are six Toons on the jury. They will vote to convict. The verdict will tie and you’ll have to declare a hung jury.” “No worries,” the Chief Justice said. “We can reschedule for months in the future, after Clarabelle has returned from Bovo.” The Chairman turned his attention back to the Spin Doctor, who was finishing his inspection of Doctor. “The Togs are becoming increasingly exhausted,” he said. “Silly Sal was not the exception. The other three will go the same way. Perhaps in the coming days.” The Spin Doctor thumbed over his shoulder at Lucy Tires and Smokey Joe. “They’ll go first. Doctor is a bit stronger. Do you want me to try to save them?” The Chairman shook his head. “They were just administrative assistants anyway. They are of limited use to us. Let them die.” The door to the chamber burst open and the CEO rolled in. He looked frantic. “Sir,” he gasped. “The Togs in Toontown Central are going offline. Something’s happening.” The Chairman’s anger finally caught up with him. He roared. Production Continuity and Story Arcs Bossbot Headquarters was first attacked in this episode, meaning that now all four HQs have been stormed by the Toons. Silly Sal burned to death due to his Tog mechanics malfunctioning, leaving only 3 Togs in the Chairman's care. Opening statements and witness questioning began in the trial against Clarabelle Cow. When they do not go the way the prosecution hoped, the Toons devise a counterattack for the next day when the verdict is read. The cure for the Togs was finally developed, and Herb Clark was the first cured. Slate Oldman developed the cure by melting down all the gags, which contain laff. Trivia *The title of this episode refers to the attack on Bossbot Headquarters. *The Chief Justice wears the same blindfold he does in the game, living up to the phrase "justice is blind." *This episode was originally called "By a Preponderance" because the verdict against Clarabelle was planned to be read in this episode. When that arc was pushed back one episode, "By a Preponderance" switched with "Brawl of the Bossbots." Category:Episodes Category:Justice Episodes Category:Plight of the Cogs Episode Series